I am on a journey.
I have been terrible about writing. I have been so busy with do many other things that it has been pushed to the backburner. I am ready for that to change. Going to do some thinking about this and decide if it’s possible for me to fit the writing/blogging in to my insane schedule. Will update soon, no matter what.
{Warning - I am writing this without knowing really where it is going or even much of what the point of it is. I just felt a need to write it.}
I do a lot of thinking - deep thinking - late at night and early in the morning. Something that I have been thinking about a lot lately, for one reason or another, is friendships and how well I know people and how well people know me. This morning was one of those mornings when I was doing a lot of thinking.
There are some people who have lots and lots of friends. They have friends from their childhood. Friends from junior high and high school. Friends from college. Sorority friends. Work friends. More friends than really they can even keep up with. Every day their Facebook page tells me that they just added 20 new “friends” that they didn’t have yesterday.
Then, there are those people who have very few people they call “friends”. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t know a lot of people, but more likely they choose to call them “acquaintances” instead of “friends”.
I am definitely one of those people that fall in to the second category. I know a LOT of people - but there are very few of them that I actually call “my friend”. My BEST friend (besides my husband) is the complete opposite. She knows a lot of people and many of them are her “friend”.
Why is this? Is our definition of friendship different? Possibly. Do I just not need as many friends? Possibly. Why? Is this a bad thing or a good thing or should I be indifferent to this thought process?
After a lot of thinking about this, I don’t have an answer, but I have come up with a few things that I believe are important to realize about this. First, I do believe my definition of a “friend” might be different from others. I think to be a true friend to someone, you have to really get to know them on a very deep level. Second, I think that knowing someone on a very deep level takes a long time for most people. Third, I believe that when you know people on a very deep level, you know so much about them that their life, their being, their soul, their heart, takes up so much space in you that you can’t possibly “know” too many people - just can’t be possible. Lastly, I think a true friendship is something that has to be nurtured and respected and it takes work. Can you really do all of this with lots of people?
I have two BEST friends, one of which is my husband. I have two handfuls of other people in my life that I call close friends. I have a lot of people that are acquaintances. My BEST girlfriend knows more about me than anyone else and I know more about her than anyone else. My husband knows A LOT about me - but in all honesty, she knows more. This doesn’t bother me and I don’t think it would bother my husband if I brought it to his attention, either. It has taken me a very long time to get to know both of these people and I know them both better today than I did 5 years ago - but I am sure there is more to know, and I look forward to learning and growing with both of them. These are the two people in this world, right now, that I have chosen - and that have chosen me. And that’s a good thing.
I am not a surface person. I like to dig deep. I like to learn something new everyday. I am glad that these two people, specifically, challenge me, push me, teach me, enlighten me, learn from me, and love me. I think I am a pretty lucky gal.
“You fall down. You fall down and you just get up. You just get up!” — Scott Hamilton
People surprise me. It is funny how you think you can know someone and really you have no idea. I actually like being surprised though. I like learning about people and their likes and dislikes and their beliefs or non-beliefs. I like hearing about their past and their family-life and what it was like for them growing up. I enjoy hearing what they like to do in their spare time and what it is that motivates them daily. I don’t have many close friends - I don’t feel like I need to. There is just so much to learn about the few close friends that I do have.
“be yourself, everybody else is already taken” — oscar wilde (via scribble-scribbles)
I love exposed brick!
(via maluna)
“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped” — Anthony Robbins (via simtan) (via quote-book)
